1.
"Laughter
is
the
best
medicine,
especially
in
these
stressful
times.
"
【笑声是最好的药,尤其是在这些紧张的时候。
】
2.
"Why
did
the
tomato
turn
red?
Because
it
saw
the
salad
dressing!"
【番茄为什么变成红色的?因为它看到了沙拉酱!
】
3.
"Life
is
too
short
to
be
taken
seriously
all
the
time.
"
【生命太短暂,不要一直认真对待。
】
4.
"Did
you
hear
about
the
kidnapping
at
the
playground?
The
kid
woke
up.
"
【你听说过游乐场的绑架案吗?孩子终于醒来了。
】
5.
"I'm
not
lazy,
I'm
just
conserving
my
energy.
"
【我不懒,我只是在节约我的能量。
】
6.
"I
told
my
wife
she
was
drawing
her
eyebrows
too
high.
She
looked
surprised.
"
【我告诉我妻子她画眉毛太高了,她看起来很惊讶。
】
7.
"Procrastination
is
like
a
credit
card:
it's
a
lot
of
fun
until
you
get
the
bill.
"
【拖延就像信用卡:玩起来很有趣,直到你收到账单。
】
8.
"I
used
to
be
indecisive,
but
now
I'm
not
sure.
"
【我曾经很犹豫,但现在我也不确定了。
】
9.
"A
balanced
diet
means
a
cupcake
in
each
hand.
"
【均衡饮食意味着每只手拿着一个杯形蛋糕。
】
10.
"I
hate
it
when
I
think
I'm
buying
organic
vegetables,
and
when
I
get
home
I
discover
they're
just
regular
donuts.
"
【当我认为我买的是有机蔬菜,回家后发现它们只是普通的甜甜圈时,我很讨厌。
】
11.
"I'm
not
arguing,
I'm
just
passionately
expressing
my
point
of
view.
"
【我不是在争论,我只是在热情地表达我的观点。
】
12.
"My
therapist
told
me
the
way
to
achieve
true
inner
peace
is
to
finish
what
I
start.
So
far
I've
finished
two
bags
of
M&Ms
and
a
chocolate
cake.
I
feel
better
already.
"
【我的治疗师告诉我实现真正的内心平静的方式是完成我开始的事情。
到目前为止,我已经吃完了两袋
M&Ms
和一个巧克力蛋糕。
我感觉已经好多了。
】
13.
"I
don't
suffer
from
insanity,
I
enjoy
every
minute
of
it.
"
【我不是精神错乱,我享受每一分钟。
】
14.
"People
who
think
they
know
everything
are
a
great
annoyance
to
those
of
us
who
do.
"
【那些认为自己什么都知道的人对那些我们确实知道的人来说是一个很大的烦恼。
】
15.
"When
life
gives
you
lemons,
make
lemonade
and
sell
it
for
a
profit.
"
【当生活给你柠檬时,制作柠檬汽水并卖出赚钱。
】
16.
"I
always
arrive
late
at
the
office,
but
I
make
up
for
it
by
leaving
early.
"
【我总是迟到到办公室,但我通过早退弥补它。
】
17.
"If
at
first
you
don't
succeed,
skydiving
is
not
for
you.
"
【如果一开始你失败了,那么跳伞并不适合你。
】
18.
"I
could
tell
that
my
parents
hated
me.
My
bath
toys
were
a
toaster
and
a
radio.
"
【我能感觉到我的父母讨厌我。
我的浴缸玩具是一个烤面包机和一个收音机。
】
19.
"I'm
not
lazy,
I'm
just
on
energy-saving
mode.
"
【我不懒,我只是在节能模式下。
】
20.
"Behind
every
great
man
is
a
woman
rolling
her
eyes.
"
【每个伟大男人背后都有一个咂嘴切削的女人。
】
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